


Picking up the pieces.

by Spidermansalterego



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, Romantic Subplot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 15:32:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17409506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spidermansalterego/pseuds/Spidermansalterego
Summary: Neil survives his suicide attempt and tries to heal from it.





	Picking up the pieces.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure why I think I'm capable of writing a long fic but here we are. This will mostly be about Neil's recovery but there will probably be a Neil/Todd subplot because I am trash.

Stepping into the dim office was a shock after the blinding white of the hospital. Mrs Perry clung to her husbands arm, her eyelashes still wet from her visit with her son. Mr Perry trained his face to be emotionless as he held the door for his wife and stepped inside the psychiatrists office.

The doctor rose as they entered and gestured towards the seats in front of him "Mr and Mrs Perry, please, have a seat. I'm Dr. Wilson, Neil's psychiatrist."

Mr. Perry shook his hand and Mrs. Perry did the same.

The doctor continued to speak as they all sat down "Thank you for coming in today. I trust you've spoken to Neil?

"We have, yes." Mr Perry said, his voice even. "And we were eager to hear your opinion on how he's doing.

The doctor sighed. "I'm going to be honest with you, he's in stable, physical health. The loss of blood was a large concern but we believe he's well enough that he won't need a transfusion. He's an incredibly lucky boy, if you hadn't found him when you did, Mrs. Perry, he might not be with us." She began to cry, and the doctor pushed a box of tissues toward her and continued "Mentally, however, I'm quite concerned. He is incredibly depressed and while this attempt was a failure, it's hard to say if there might be another."

Mr Perry cleared his throat. "What are his treatment options?" He paused. "Will he need to be institutionalized?"

"Well, there are several options and though institutionalization is one of them, I believe it to be a last resort. If we admit him lobotomy or shock therapy are likely treatments and I'm not sure if they're appropriate in your sons case. I would recommend returning him to his usual environment, as well as a mix of drug and psychotherapy. We're trying to diagnose the nature of his depression and I think we can best do that if he's back at school."

"Alright" He said "I'll let his new school know they can expect him shortly.I assume Neil has filled you in on his future plan."

The doctor knew Mr Perry's type, more concerned with his son's accomplishments and social standing than his child themselves. Parents like him were a dime a dozen and as a man with his prestige was often sought out by the absent rich types. But Dr. Wilson had come to know Neil over the past few days; had instantly taken a liking to the boy and empathized with his struggle. He was sure of what Neil could and could not handle, and he would push for it as hard as he had to.   

"With all due respect, sir". He said "I believe Welton is the best place for your son."

"Absolutely not. He disobeyed me and that cannot go unpunished."

"Mr and Mrs Perry, I know you care for your son, and that you want what best for him. In my professional opinion, what's best for Neil is a familiar place with people he already knows. A drastic change now, especially in a place with such easy access to guns, may have dire results I'm afraid. I'm not sure he's capable of healing mentally in that sort of environment."

 "Then he can recover at another preparatory school".

"It's likely, in a new environment, he would only isolate himself, and his condition would worsen." He could see the anger rising in the man before him. His wife only cried silently, wiping her eyes occasionally. The doctor sighed, he knew he would have to play to Mr. Perry's need for Neil's success. His reputation was much more important to him than his child, and Dr. Wilson knew he could manipulate that.

"Mr. Perry, I know you're concerned for your sons future, and any other new school would require a medical record. It would be negligent for me not to include this attempt in that report. However, if he were to return to Welton they wouldn't require anything more than a note of absence. We could keep this entire thing under-wraps entirely, save for a select few."

His interest had peaked. "Who would that consist of?"  
  


"Whoever Neil's closest to. Teachers and friends he can confide in if his condition worsens or is triggered in anyway. The school nurse. Perhaps the headmaster, if you wish." 

"Alright. Is there anything else?"

"I'd like to keep him for the rest of the week, and return him to class Monday. If you don't wish to alert the headmaster, my note can be vague and brief. His arm will need to be re-bandaged daily, so I'll write a note to the nurse as well. We would like to prescribe him medication, as well as meet with him bi-weekly for therapy."

 

Mrs Perry spoke for the first time since their introduction. "Will he be alright, Doctor?" 

"Mrs. Perry, as long as we keep on top of it and keep the right people in the loop, he'll be just fine."

"Thank you, Doctor" She stood, and shook his hand, her eyes full of gratitude. 

"Yes, Doctor, thank you" Mr Perry replied, coolly. "We'll be back on Sunday to collect Neil." 

“Of course, Mr Perry.” He nods “Best of luck.”

 

xXx

The doctor was quick to fill Neil in on the plan and he was the closest thing he could feel to happy while on the cocktail of drugs they gave him hours before. He wasn't surprised his father agreed to return him to school to keep his attempt a secret, but he was happy to be returning to his friends. Dr. Wilson said his parents wouldn't be back until Sunday, so what was a surprise was his mother walking in on what Neil was pretty sure was a Friday morning.

She stood beside his bed and pet his hair like she had when he was a small boy. He couldn't remember the last time he felt physical comfort, and that made him frown. 

My poor, poor boy." She cooed. "I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Are you still in very much pain?"

He shook his head No. He was only vaguely aware of his bandaged wrist, and due to the fogginess the drugs caused, he had to be told at least once a day he'd attempted suicide.

She hummed, unhappy with his silence. He hadn't spoken much since he was admitted the night of his play, and she hadn't had a chance to be alone with him. When her husband asked her to find out who needed to be informed of Neil's condition, she'd jumped at the chance for some alone time with her son. His quiet demeanor had her especially shaken; the boy in the bed was so unlike her son.

"We need to tell the nurse at school, but we don't know who else. Who in your school do you trust?"

Neil was confused. His parents so rarely asked him his opinion on anything and this felt like a big question. Perhaps, he thought, they needed to know who wouldn't tell the other teachers and students, and not who was going to help Neil through his recovery. The answer was the same, either way.

"Todd." He mumbled, absentmindedly. "Charlie, Mr Keating." 

She nodded. "Is that the Dalton's boy?" He nodded "Which teacher is that? English, right?" He nodded again. She knew that her husband wouldn't like that very much and resolved to catch the man alone to inform him. She realized she didn't know the first boy.

"And Todd, who might that be?" 

"Todd?" He was so groggy, his eyes slipping closed as he spoke. 

"Yes, dear, who is he?" 

"Todd is" she wondered what he was thinking, what his drug addled mind was trying to figure out. She'd held her breath. She'd often wonder if her son was a homosexual, and the play had only heightened that fear. Whatever drug he was on, she hoped it didn't make him too candor. 

"Todd is my roommate." She let the breath out, not entirely convinced but happy that she didn't have to confront this here of all places.

"And you" She paused "Trust this boy?" 

"Yes, Mother." 

"Alright. I'll have to leave now if I'm going to make it before the teachers retire for the day. I'll be back on Sunday morning with your father to pick you up."

He was nodding off, so she pushed back his hair and kissed his forehead. "I love you, son." And because he'd only mumbled in response, a sure sign he probably wouldn't quite remember this she took the opportunity to be candor herself "You were wonderful, my boy. The play, you were so great. I'm proud of you."

Her heart swelled as he only smiled in response; falling asleep seconds after.

xXx

Her husband had planned to meet her at school at 3pm, so she was sure to arrive at 2:30, eager to find the teacher her husband didn't approve of. A helpful student pointed her towards his office and she knocked lightly. 

"Come in." His office was exactly what she expected it to be. His face was also as kind as she had hoped. "How might I help you Mrs.?"

"Perry" She supplied, closing the door behind her but refusing the chair that he offered. 

"Neil's mother, I presume?" He said, with a small smile. "How is he? I've missed him in my class this past week."

"He's in recovery right now."

"If I might be so bold to ask, from what is he recovering?"

"Depression" She admitted. His sad nod told her all she needed to know and she was glad her son was in such perceptive hands. "There was an attempt. With a letter opener. He experienced a lot of blood loss."

He flinched. "Will he be alright?"

"He will. He'll be discharged on Sunday, and back to school on Monday."

"Wonderful!" He said, genuinely. 

"We're keeping it between a select few, and while I know my husband does not approve of you, Neil told me you should be informed of his condition." She handed him a slip of paper with her number, as well as the doctor's. "Please reach out, if he confides in you, or if you notice any odd behavior."

"Of course, Mrs. Perry."

"I trust you'll keep this to yourself" He nodded so she opened the door and turned to leave. "Goodbye, Mr. Keating, enjoy your weekend."

"You as well, Mrs. Perry."

**Author's Note:**

> Not a 1950's doctor™ so I probably got a lot wrong. A skimmed through google but feel free to correct me on any errors!


End file.
